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this is looking like a contents of who can care less
im sat here listening to taylor swift because i know she loves it, and it depresses me in fairness. i need to end this, im sure i love her. like 98% sure, and thats more sure than i am of almost anything. its harder to be sure when im not with her, but when shes here. then i know. and thats all i need.
she just pingchatted me that she loves me, but how am i sure, she doesn’t make any effort at all, i make all the effort, to see her, to make sure she’s got everything she wanted or could need from me. so i write back i love you too right? cause thats what she wants to hear, and thats what i want to tell her. deep down, everytime i say that to her, something tears away at me, i think its pain tbh, cause it hurts to love her. i’m just hoping its not guilt. it could be my minds way of telling me you don’t actually love her, you just wish you did.
i would never admit this to her, but i agree with abbie, she is selfish. im being the most unselfish i have ever been sharing you. it angers me that every one that knows about us thinks im a fucking idiot. i mean come on, you love me right? but you told me you were comfy with abbie. i told jade that she laughed in my face and told me to fuck off, she said if she loved you she’d want to be with you no matter what. if that meant moving into somewhere cheap until she sorted her self out, i’d never ask her to do it. but she goes on, she wants to marry me. she cant even leave abbie.
im getting really mad now, im gonna get hurt. i can see it. and i love getting hurt dont i ¬.¬
am i not enough? do you have to have her as well?
